Sarah B
Sarah always searches for the best verb she can find. Verbs help your readers feel, nouns help your readers to see.
The man slinked around the corner. No one noticed him except me.
His backpack was bulging. People crowded the footpath, rushing to get to work. A strange feeling was welling up inside me. I had to know who this guy was and what he was doing. As soon as I saw him come out from Pascals' I knew something was not right. That old shop had been boarded up for years. No one had been near it because of what happened. I made a detour from my usual route to school just to see where he was going. I turned the corner and followed him. His crimson beanie blended in well with the crowd but to me he stood out like a landmark: dark clothes, dark bag, creepy.
He suddenly turned into a laneway between two tall buildings. I pushed and shoved my way through the crowd to catch up with him. And there I stood at the entrance. A sense of forboding spilled out of that lane. Even in the sunlight it was dark. I could see the man disappearing. I took a tentative step onto the old chipped cobblestones.
Darkness swallowed me up as I made my way further into the unknown. The bricks of the buildings were faded and covered in moss. Rats scampered along the gutters, brushing my feet. A door slamming shut broke the silence.
The man was gone.
Sarah B
His backpack was bulging. People crowded the footpath, rushing to get to work. A strange feeling was welling up inside me. I had to know who this guy was and what he was doing. As soon as I saw him come out from Pascals' I knew something was not right. That old shop had been boarded up for years. No one had been near it because of what happened. I made a detour from my usual route to school just to see where he was going. I turned the corner and followed him. His crimson beanie blended in well with the crowd but to me he stood out like a landmark: dark clothes, dark bag, creepy.
He suddenly turned into a laneway between two tall buildings. I pushed and shoved my way through the crowd to catch up with him. And there I stood at the entrance. A sense of forboding spilled out of that lane. Even in the sunlight it was dark. I could see the man disappearing. I took a tentative step onto the old chipped cobblestones.
Darkness swallowed me up as I made my way further into the unknown. The bricks of the buildings were faded and covered in moss. Rats scampered along the gutters, brushing my feet. A door slamming shut broke the silence.
The man was gone.
Sarah B
